On the menu

So what if Oprah said don't eat past 7 pm.  I have MY way of doing things around here. 20 mins, 425 oven, bake that ranch chickn! 

Today on the menu:

Baked tofu, oven roasted garlic, spinach & lentils 

I'm tossing the tofu into a salad, and eating the spinach & lentils as a tasty filling side dish.  I'm going to add my cloves of roasted garlic to my salad.  Once the cloves are soft you can with spread them on toast or add it as a yummy part of your dish. Who knew losing weight could taste so great and be so healthy? 

I like to dress my salads usually with a zesty Italian, and there ya have it! Low fat, delicious & nutritious. Mmmmmm! 

My food choices

                My grocery shopping buddy 💙

               Things that went into our cart::

🍓  🍋  🍓  🍋  🍓  🍋  🍓  🍋  🍓  🍋  🍓  🍋  🍓

🍓 Strawberries

🍋 Onions

🍓 Salad dressings

🍋 Whole wheat tortillas

🍓 Greek yogurt

I simply follow the food guide pyramid theory for losing weight & staying healthy and again to fit into my wedding dress (compliments of @stilettomeup on instagram.  Eating healthy means making different food choices.  I learned about the food guide pyramid in highschool & again in college. 

Nothing has really changed other than the modifications to the food guide for different diets such as vegan.  These are suggested daily servings, but I can't eat that much bread without gaining too much weight. Everyone's metabolism and body makeup is different.  I can lose and gain very easily depending on my food choices and amounts.  

Time to start day 5 of my 100 days of real food! Good luck to me and everyone else who wants to lose at least 25 lbs. 

Fabulous Day 4

Breakfast: 

Lunch: (left overs) kidney bean, tomato, salad mix on a whole wheat tortilla x3 

Dinner: chick pea salad with light zesty Italian 

Dessert: 

Cherry Greek yogurt

My food blog

Ok so I've been too skinny, now I'm too um "fluffy for my liking.  I do what makes me feel good, look good for the most part. Life is short, this is what I have always lived by. If I'm not happy nobody around me seems to be. I intentionally gained weight but in all the wrong ways.  I went thru a "spell" of not giving a f__k,  I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. And let me tell you I'm not proud of that.  I was 116 lbs in the photo below. I lost too much by eating a strict vegan diet.

This is what eating crap for 14 weeks will get ya. (Below)  I've never had a food dependency, but once I started cramming chips & cookies down it was hard to stop because it tasted so good.  In June, I left my fiancé, in August my oldest son moved to Charleston with his dad. Needless to say I became so depressed.  I tend to go into hiding when life slaps me in the face.  

I'm back with my fiancé, my son seems to be happy in South Carolina, my online sales are picking up, things are looking better, so now I want to look better! I have a brand new motivation as well to eating healthier & losing weight.....a size 4 wedding dress! Worn below by the lovely @thestilettomeup and designed by Katerina Bocci. @katarinaboccidesigns I saw this gown and it had that immediate wow factor and every other element I've been searching for. I hadn't even researched Katerina before seeing this gown of my dreams.  When I read about what her designs offer, I couldn't believe it because I've said this to myself over and over! I wanted simple elegant sophistication.

"describe the dress you dreamed of as a little girl," says Bocci. "I want to turn fantasy into reality for these women. This is the gown they'll remember forever." 

She hit the nail on the head with her vision and design. 

I have until January to whip back into shape, so instead of posting every thing I eat on Instagram, I'll be blogging about it. Do you want to lose weight? Follow along my journey if you like! We can support, motivate, and encourage one another to reach our goals to looking hotter & feeling better.  

I'm on day three of being healthier, so I'll catch you up on what I've eaten today. I'm not a big breakfast person, so I had my coffee as usual.  I had Healthy Choices vegetable beef soup for lunch, Lemon Greek yogurt for dessert and for dinner kidney beans with diced tomatoes with lots of yummy spices. 

My mind & body overhaul

I went on a huge vegan kick for almost five months. In a nutshell, I'm no longer a vegan.i didn't do it to lose weight, and trust me I lost a lot of weight.  I was literally spending 3/4 of my day....in the kitchen.  Constantly telling myself, "you DONT want that cookie!" "Nooooo! Don't eat that hotdog!!!" 

Eating clean is what I was telling myself.  Actually, I became tired, irritable and boney!  I lost 20 lbs in a matter of 8 weeks down from  a size 6 to a size 00-1.  Some of my family started making comments like, "Tina is looking sick......" "Your face is sunk in".  I'll be the first to say I don't do anything to please anyone else but myself.  I was suffering through terrible cravings for sugar, salt and carbs! I cut out way too much good stuff in my daily diet.  Having worked that hard only to have people say negative things, I said to HELL with this!  

I eat some junk food now by god.  Chips, cookies, and yes even the occasional soda! (Oh, and meat) I don't feel sick anymore, no more cravings. After five months of going completely clean, my mind and body were both saying enough is enough.  After one slice of pizza one evening, I was back.  I'm actually eating chips as I type this and I don't feel guilty.  

I give props to ALL vegans! It really is tough being so determined to follow that lifestyle.  I'm gonna do what makes me happy, ergo I will eat what makes me happy and feel good. 

I still cook all kinds of food.  It's just not the biggest part of my daily life anymore, thank goodness. 

"Till the water runs cold"

For just a little over a month now, my life has has taken a turn I never expected.  A turn that any mother or woman in this world should never have to experience.  Not only did I leave my fiancé, I've had to fight a slight custody battle with my ex husband, out of nowhere.  Boom. I ask the universe, "Why me?", and then I remember someone in church saying once, "why NOT me?"  

You always wonder what might be going on in someone's life, what makes them act the way they do.  Having hard times maybe, family issues, financial problems, pain and suffering from a loved ones loss...or at least I do.  I wonder, "is that person struggling like me?"  "I bet they have no clue what I'm going through".  However, surprisingly enough some have been through worse situations.  I know of a brave soul who is literally dealing with the struggle of her husbands cancer.  And yet I complain and worry?  Worry about what??  I don't even want to imagine if anyone else I love in my life were dealing with the most evil and non-forgiving disease cancer.  

I'm tolerant and somewhat patient, but don't mess with my children's well being.  When my babies cry, my feathers fluff and they "fluffed" yesterday around 4:15 pm when my oldest son Tyler called me frantic.  Not even able to talk clearly and get his words out to me, basically having a panic attack.  In a nutshell, my ex husband Tom is moving to Charleston, SC for a job (4 hour away) with plans on taking Tyler who is almost 14 years old with him full time.  Tyler finally decided on his own he didn't want to go, and his dad had a hard time with this.  On the drive back up from Charleston yesterday evening my ex husband gets the message from Tyler that he doesn't want to live there full time, he wants to stay in North Carolina with me and visit his dad in Charleston.  This had Tyler scared, so scared he was asking me what to do every minute via text.  I immediately went into "save my kid" mode.  Tyler was happily playing at a buddy's house, next thing I know I'm asking his buddy's parent to please take Tyler to his grand-mothers house fast before his dad gets back in 45 minutes.  Tyler was at first alone there asking me what to do if daddy gets there.

 I felt helpless, I was twenty minutes away.  Tom was not in a rational state of mind.  Next thing I know, I've rounded up the calvary there before Tom even had a chance to get back waiting on him,Toms wife, mom and dad.  All of which are on Tyler's side at this point.  Poor Tyler, having to suffer because of adults not being adults. For a kid who can't speak well especially when his emotions have him upset, he handled himself very well and I'm proud of him.  The last text I received from Tyler last night was great.  

It's hard to explain the bond between a mother and her child, so I will try to give you my take on what it's like for those of you without children, or those who might not fully understand.  I guess imagine an invisible umbilical cord, from mama to the baby that never gets cut. The same for the bond that happens.  I was going to try and use material objects and possession loss as a comparison to what I felt yesterday.  Not even that comes slightly close to the way I felt.  I have three humans in this big galaxy who deeply depend on me, their mama.  They need me, love me and make my life worth living.  I will fight a grizzly bear for them if need be, a mothers love is untouched.  

I'm very content this morning as I sit here sipping my coffee.  All three of my kids will be with me full time now.  Daniel and I are working things out as I've "taught" him his lesson he says.  I want to be a family, we might not always function perfectly as most families don't, lol......however we will function better, one day at a time.  I never know what each new day will bring, but I will tell you this...I'm stronger today than I was yesterday.  My heart feels all fluttery inside, warm and fuzzy.  That snuggly feeling you get when you get a tight hug from your children.  I can't wait to see Tyler again so I can hug him tight.  He's bigger than me, he even has to bend down to hug me.  He and I will never forget, "Till the water runs cold". 

My daughter holds a special place in my heart.  Destiny is 16, with such tremendous logic.  She was such a huge help to Tyler and I yesterday giving both of us advice via text while she was at work.  I ask Destiny to help with Tyler a lot, she's the only other person I know who loves Tyler almost as her own, even though they are siblings.  I love you Destiny, I know your nosy self will be reading this. ;) thank you for being you.  

"Live Simply ~ Part 2"

This is only my take on living simple to each their own.  How I live is how I like living, so my lifestyle might seem odd to you but it makes me happy.  

"Simplicity is the peak of civilization" ~ Jessie Sampter  

Less can be more for me.  

The less clutter on my dresser, the better I feel about that piece of furniture. My mind is more at ease.  When I clean out my email the same feeling.  Decluttering basically gives me control over my future emotions, where a mess would give me anxiety.  Tidy up now and save myself the grief of spending hours later.  OCD maybe? No, this is how I function.  Without organization I would lose my mind.  But this isn't only about year round spring cleaning, but keeping my mind zen.  Balance. Without balance in my life I cannot function, so I create my own balance.  Simple mindset, simple lifestyle.  

I will be good to people.

This world can be ugly, we need more good in the world so I like to be a part of the good realm.  Having uplifting conversations with total strangers, giving to the needy and I'm not talking about dropping a bag of stuff off at the Goodwill. Give one of my two Egyptian cotton sheet sets to a woman who has no sheets to sleep on.  Give her my shirt if she likes it, I have more shirts at home. I believe in karma. 

I will be positive.

Even when the negative looms all around me.  I love my fiancée with all my heart, however he is filled with negative energy.  He radiates negativity to the point to where I have to get away from him.  My fiancée is an extreme pessimist.  He looks at the bad before envisioning what good could come out of the situation.  I think happy thoughts therefore I am.  He thinks I'm some "hippie, spiritualist nature lover", I'm ok with this label.  I'm nice even when he's mean, I kill with kindness which is fail safe.  

I will be slow to anger.

Anger is evil, it harvests demons that create more evil. I make the conscious choice to not be angry.  Yes, I DO and have gotten angry however it's a rare occasion and I'm only human. I can only control so much on my own, and the rest to the universe.  Nothing works right when I do it with anger, and I like things to work right.  I don't scream or yell at my children to correct them, it only makes the situation worse and teaches them dysfunctional communicative skills with others.  I teach patience by showing it, and it has paid off.  

I will sacrifice.

The happiness of my children is at the top of my priority list in life.  Being a mother has taught me everything I'm telling you here.  I will jump through hoops to see that my kids are happy.  I love to talk to them about everything life has to offer, long talks when they are sad.  I have raised good well-rounded children and they have the foundation they need to build a strong future, and that's my purpose as a mother.  Creating "good" people.  I sacrifice having a polished wardrobe, mani's and pedi's, haircuts, junk food, and all things glam so they can have whatever makes them happy.  Seeing a smile on their face is like Christmas morning, addicting.  The more they laugh the less they cry, make them laugh and be silly with my kids.  

I read the Bible.

I'm not going to preach, but this book teaches good therefore I read and apply the lessons to my daily life.  My golden rule is to treat others as you would have them treat you.  If I had two of the same thing, one being in worse shape than the other, I will give the best of the two.  If you're girlfriend has two pairs of jeans to loan you, would you honestly accept the jeans with that noticeable stain? If I was the one loaning the jeans, my friend gets the better pair.  It might not matter to her, however I'm happy inside when I know I've made that simple sacrifice.  Living simple involves a lot of sacrice for me.  

I will connect with nature everyday.  

Even if it's just a brief walk on my deck, I want the fresh air in my lungs and the sunshine on my face. Ultimately, I love gardening and digging in the dirt.  The earth has an energy field all it's own, and I tap into that daily.  Now am I sounding odd? Ha.  

I will stay busy.

My idle mind is a dangerous mind.  I don't need to lie around all day so that my mind wanders off course.  I have never been bored, even when I have nothing to do.  Having nothing to do is actually a great time to DO something, so I meditate. I envision positive things happening, I make goals and plans, I might teach myself something new.  I have several "projects" going so that I always have something to look forward too.  I'm up with the sun, and down with the moon. Meaning I only sleep when my body says too and that's not much and I'm ok with this.  I will never have a maid, or a nanny for my kids.  My house and my children are solely MY responsibility and no one else's.  

I will eat "clean".

You might not agree with my diet whatsoever.  I even think it's a bit odd, ha....but it works for me.  My diet is no diet at all, I only eat food to nourish my body. I don't eat food to diminish hunger.  I do stay away from meat, bread, and all junk.  Yes, ALL junk.  It feels gross to eat something I know isn't going to promote a healthier lifestyle, after all I do want to be here to see my children grow up.  I don't crave junk, because my body rejects it. I believe we are what we eat. 

I will be content with what I have.

This world is so materialistic these days, with big fancy possessions being some peoples "goals". If I had a million dollars, I would have a million dollar home.  I do not have a million dollars though, therefore I do to live in a million dollar home, and that's ok because I'm happy with my home.  It's big enough to meet our family's needs yet small enough to afford and keep clean.  I am not ashamed of my home that I toil so hard over every day of my life.  I will not idolize my possessions, and like any woman I have things like jewelry, perfume, highheels, dress clothes, nice cars (all paid for). So if I lost everything I have, I don't lose much.  This might tie into my childhood a bit, I've become accustomed to losing things, friends and loved ones which makes it hard for me to deeply connect with the outside world.  I don't like to become attached to things or people (except for my kids and fiancée).  I have had a lot of things in my life, as well as lost them.  Going without something always has made me appreciate it more.  I'm ok with not ever owning a pair of Louboutins, but yes sure they're beautiful.  I might not ever have a five carat diamond ring, I'm happy with the one I have.  I hope you see where I'm going with this.  I don't miss something I've never had.  

I will be honest.

Truly as cliche as this sounds, honesty IS the best policy for me. Lies beget lies, and can distinguish trust in my relationships.  I want those that love me and trust in me to know I will do as I say.  When I am faced with a question I don't like to answer, I tackle the response with candid honesty. For me it's easier to go ahead and deal with the circumstances at hand face-to-face rather than letting the problem fester.  Talk, communicate openly with my family and friends.  

I will sing everyday. 

Music has always been a big part of my life. I love to sing, it makes me happy inside.  Music can uplift me, it can be my friend when I have none.  

I will be happy.

This is MY choice and no one else's.  I can either choose to be in a bad mood or a good one. I will not let my environment control me or my emotions.  I have cried of course, like I've said I'm only human. 

Zen is my mantra, balance, peace, harmony. This how I "live simply". 

"Live Simply - Part 1"

"Live Simply" 

What does this mean to you?  To "live simply"? To me this means more than the tangible things in life. Simplify your mind and your life will follow a natural course.  I live day to day as simple as possible which I'm going to try to explain.  

My Background: in a nutshell sorta

Chaos, stress, unemployment, job loss, past due bills, hard times, sadness.  I choose to use these things to motivate me instead of letting them break me down.  Some wonder how I do it, I often times wonder how I do it too.  Maybe my childhood would clear things up if I put it on paper (or my ipad).  I didn't have a normal upbringing, at least to me it wasn't normal in any way.  

Born May 29, 1978  "Tina Marie Parr" I have no idea how much I weighed, or what I looked like as a newborn.  My mother, Peggy Parr never prepared a baby book for me.  I do have pics of when I was 1 yr. old and on however.  My mother died on March 29, 2010, I know this only because I googled her name one day.  I wanted to find her, I hadn't seen her since I was 9 years old.  My dad and I left her one day, we packed up and left in a hurry for Granny Parr's house.  Had we not, I might not be here today and so the story begins.

My dad was a full-time long distance truck driver.  My mother, a licensed cosmetologist, singer, and entertainer and severe alcoholic, she couldn't hold a job down. She took a .32 caliber hand gun out and pointed it to my leg in a drunken stupor, threatening to shoot me if I didn't give her my lunch money ($2.25) for more beer.  I reluctantly gave it to her, I liked eating at school it was all I got to eat all day.  I couldn't understand why she wanted more beer when she was already drunk.  Sure enough she took off to wherever I don't know because she didn't come back until the next day.  Nothing new to me, daddy was gone and Tina had to take care of mama when she passed out in the living room smoking cigarettes and drinking, and singing all night. She had a voice of an angel, she would sing in bars with her mother playing the piano.  Mama was beautiful, could get (and did get) lots of men, always bar hopping and running around.  She would "buy" my love instead of spending time with me, showering me in gifts.  Every time she would buy me something, it made me sad and I didn't understand why.  

So, I'm 9 years old and my parents divorce, as my dad and I move in with Granny Parr.  My granny became my mother figure, and I'm thankful for that.  She was perfect in my eyes.  I visited mama about three times before daddy took her parental rights away.  She couldn't stay sober long enough for me to stay with her overnight.  I have only vague memories of her, and then I never saw her again.  I longed for her for so many years, wondering what ever happened to her.  I contacted "The Montel Show", back in 1998, when I was 19. I thought he could help me find her somehow.  However, the airmail letter from the producers pretty much said I didn't have enough info for them to find her with.  Sylvia Brown = hogwash.  I lost hope and gave up, but never stopped thinking about mama.  

My dad went on to marry again, and my life started with a mean step-mom, meaner younger step-sister, and an older step-brother I still don't talk to this very day.  Long story short, my dad and step-mother became raging alcoholics themselves and put us three kids through the worst hell imaginable.  As soon as all three of us were old enough to leave home, we did.  I got married at 18 just to get out.  Divorced by the time I was 32.  

Jo, she took my mama in when she saw her selling shabby items on a small blanket next to the side of the road.  My mom explained to her that her boyfriend had beat her and run her off again.  Jo put my mama in a trailer next to her house rent free in exchange for housekeeping.  Mama was blinded by macular degeneration, she had slight peripheral vision.  She had just been approved to have her vision corrected through her insurance and was getting her disability squared away when she died at 62.  Horrible stories I wish Jo would have never told me about my mama, and the things that had happened to her.  This bastard tried burying her alive, forced her naked body out in the dead of winter to die in a ditch and much much more. After returning home from visiting her gravesite and getting the few things she owned from Jo, I cried myself to sleep for a week.  I couldn't imagine all the things she had gone through with that monster.  

After leaving home, my dad and I didn't speak for years.  He forbid me to marry so young and throw my life away, so he never walked me down the aisle.  That's ok my granny did, she had my back.  He didn't care about his grand kids either when they came along, and that really hurt me. We eventually came to speaking terms somehow oneday.  I had to get to know my dad again. My step-mother was killed in an automobile accident back in 2011,my dad married for the fifth time to his first love/highschool sweetheart last year.  

Four years ago while going through my divorce I asked my dad for help, for a place to live.  He had always said he would be there for me.  Well, he wasn't. He said it wouldn't be feasible to live out there.  However, my half-brother Jason pops up out of nowhere after all these years and is back in daddy's life.  Jason is now in complete charge of my dads land and home, left to him in a will.  My dad has a new life with a new wife, a cushy monthly income and no worries in the world.  An old friend from highschool ended up helping me out with $5,000.00 loan to start my life fresh.  

Aka: tinasnewlife. Back to living simply in my next blog.  I wanted you to have a "quick" rundown of my childhood.