What does this mean to you? To "live simply"? To me this means more than the tangible things in life. Simplify your mind and your life will follow a natural course. I live day to day as simple as possible which I'm going to try to explain.
My Background: in a nutshell sorta
Chaos, stress, unemployment, job loss, past due bills, hard times, sadness. I choose to use these things to motivate me instead of letting them break me down. Some wonder how I do it, I often times wonder how I do it too. Maybe my childhood would clear things up if I put it on paper (or my ipad). I didn't have a normal upbringing, at least to me it wasn't normal in any way.
Born May 29, 1978 "Tina Marie Parr" I have no idea how much I weighed, or what I looked like as a newborn. My mother, Peggy Parr never prepared a baby book for me. I do have pics of when I was 1 yr. old and on however. My mother died on March 29, 2010, I know this only because I googled her name one day. I wanted to find her, I hadn't seen her since I was 9 years old. My dad and I left her one day, we packed up and left in a hurry for Granny Parr's house. Had we not, I might not be here today and so the story begins.
My dad was a full-time long distance truck driver. My mother, a licensed cosmetologist, singer, and entertainer and severe alcoholic, she couldn't hold a job down. She took a .32 caliber hand gun out and pointed it to my leg in a drunken stupor, threatening to shoot me if I didn't give her my lunch money ($2.25) for more beer. I reluctantly gave it to her, I liked eating at school it was all I got to eat all day. I couldn't understand why she wanted more beer when she was already drunk. Sure enough she took off to wherever I don't know because she didn't come back until the next day. Nothing new to me, daddy was gone and Tina had to take care of mama when she passed out in the living room smoking cigarettes and drinking, and singing all night. She had a voice of an angel, she would sing in bars with her mother playing the piano. Mama was beautiful, could get (and did get) lots of men, always bar hopping and running around. She would "buy" my love instead of spending time with me, showering me in gifts. Every time she would buy me something, it made me sad and I didn't understand why.
So, I'm 9 years old and my parents divorce, as my dad and I move in with Granny Parr. My granny became my mother figure, and I'm thankful for that. She was perfect in my eyes. I visited mama about three times before daddy took her parental rights away. She couldn't stay sober long enough for me to stay with her overnight. I have only vague memories of her, and then I never saw her again. I longed for her for so many years, wondering what ever happened to her. I contacted "The Montel Show", back in 1998, when I was 19. I thought he could help me find her somehow. However, the airmail letter from the producers pretty much said I didn't have enough info for them to find her with. Sylvia Brown = hogwash. I lost hope and gave up, but never stopped thinking about mama.
My dad went on to marry again, and my life started with a mean step-mom, meaner younger step-sister, and an older step-brother I still don't talk to this very day. Long story short, my dad and step-mother became raging alcoholics themselves and put us three kids through the worst hell imaginable. As soon as all three of us were old enough to leave home, we did. I got married at 18 just to get out. Divorced by the time I was 32.
Jo, she took my mama in when she saw her selling shabby items on a small blanket next to the side of the road. My mom explained to her that her boyfriend had beat her and run her off again. Jo put my mama in a trailer next to her house rent free in exchange for housekeeping. Mama was blinded by macular degeneration, she had slight peripheral vision. She had just been approved to have her vision corrected through her insurance and was getting her disability squared away when she died at 62. Horrible stories I wish Jo would have never told me about my mama, and the things that had happened to her. This bastard tried burying her alive, forced her naked body out in the dead of winter to die in a ditch and much much more. After returning home from visiting her gravesite and getting the few things she owned from Jo, I cried myself to sleep for a week. I couldn't imagine all the things she had gone through with that monster.
After leaving home, my dad and I didn't speak for years. He forbid me to marry so young and throw my life away, so he never walked me down the aisle. That's ok my granny did, she had my back. He didn't care about his grand kids either when they came along, and that really hurt me. We eventually came to speaking terms somehow oneday. I had to get to know my dad again. My step-mother was killed in an automobile accident back in 2011,my dad married for the fifth time to his first love/highschool sweetheart last year.
Four years ago while going through my divorce I asked my dad for help, for a place to live. He had always said he would be there for me. Well, he wasn't. He said it wouldn't be feasible to live out there. However, my half-brother Jason pops up out of nowhere after all these years and is back in daddy's life. Jason is now in complete charge of my dads land and home, left to him in a will. My dad has a new life with a new wife, a cushy monthly income and no worries in the world. An old friend from highschool ended up helping me out with $5,000.00 loan to start my life fresh.
Aka: tinasnewlife. Back to living simply in my next blog. I wanted you to have a "quick" rundown of my childhood.
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